bombay is india's masala city...spicy mix, that is. the largest slum in all of asia surrounds a hustling-bustling metropolis. i want to say that over half of mumbai's population lives in these slums, and i can, because i'm right...it's 55%, at last count. tar paper shacks, with tin roofs, crumpled billboards as walls, dogs chasing chickens, a mishmash of electrical wires, cows. the toilet is just along the road, an open stretch of asphalt. while rich indian's zoom by in air-conditioned ambassador cars, square and 'spitting diesel fumes', naked children defecate in the street. they rummage through piles of garbage and wipe with old plastic bags. these are the slums.

enter the city and it's like you've stepped into another planet. british colonial buildings, high domes, manicured gardens and churches. street stands selling lunch and sugarcane juice, covered bazaars up and down every street. pick yourself up an ipod charger, socks, a bag, fake rolex watches, a dildo, a pineapple...you name it.

we stayed in south bombay, in the foreigner-fueled annex of colaba, just ten minutes south of the gateway to india. our room smelled like sewage. drug dealers try to sell us hash-hish, opium, grass...whatever we desire. there's a subway nearby...yeah, a SUBWAY, and we buy sandwiches for breakfast. i eat a chicken tikka masala on wholewheat, a foot long, with mint ginger chutney and tonnes of veggies. it's incredible.

we pass by the gateway to india, a monolithic stone gate looking out over mumbai's eastern harbour. tourists gather here snapping photos. boats head to the caves at elephanta island. the water is toxic...you can't swim, and flotsam and jetsam, crumpled plastic bags and juice boxes gather in the corner of the bay. just behind us is the massive and majestic and beautiful taj hotel. rooms here run about $245US/night to upwards of $500US/night. it's got a street-level arcade of fancy shops, gucci, prada and blahblah, a tennis court, pools and bars, a nightlcub, a gym...oi! it's a nice place to stay i'm sure. we peek in the windows.

from there we head northwest up veer nariman street to the regal cricle and check out the art deco regal cinema, then up mahatma gandhi road towards the flora fountain, a beautiful stone neo-gothic fountain erected to the "glory" of the british general who dismantled bombay's fort. we head east to horniman circle and i find the exact same ear-cleaner who i met and photographed two years earlier. he's in the same spot, cleaning ears. we have ours done and after some swishing and squeaking, we can hear like cats.

back westwards to st. thomas' cathedral. below the stone slabs are interred the remains of malaria victims and british generals. we go on towards chowpatty beach, the long stretch of sand and curved bay of mumbai's western side. stop by the mocha bar on the way and smoke a 'blue lagoon' flavoured hookah and drink fresh juicy mocktails. it's nice and relaxing. up north on chowpatty we make our way up malabar hill towards the 'towers of silence'. these towers formed of three concentric rings are where zoroastrians, or Parsi's in India, leave their dead to be picked clean by giant vultures. we can see the vultures but the towers are off limits.

back home.

the next day is diwali, the indian festival of light. a huge holdiay celebration where indian's invite the goddes mahalaxmi into their homes by lighting candles and lamps and fireworks and leaving money to attract her. she brings more wealth along with her. we head to northwest mumbai to check out haji ali's mosque. legend has it that haji died while sailing on a pilgrimage to mecca. his coffin was tossed overboard and it floated back to this spot. so they built a mosque here. it's reached along a long causeway, crowded with pilgrims and lined with beggars. they shake their deformities, for pity, missing legs and limbs, festering sores. they chant "eee-y'ALLAH! eee-y'ALLAH!" in unison. at high tide, the causeway is underwater and the mosque becomes an island. on the way out we stop by mahalaxmi dhobighat, an enormous collection of tiny sinks where all of mumbai's laundry is washed. it comes from all over the city, is washed, dried, folded and sent back to whenst it came...each and every day. a sight to see, though amanda thought it was stupid.

from there it was back to chowpatty beach for famous behlpuri, a plate of rice crispies and cilantro, beans, cheese and spices scooped up with little puffs of bread. then faludas, cream and sugar and milk and tapioca looking things, some rice noodles, rose water and kulfi (punjabi ice cream) with a spoon. sounds weird but tastes great.

we walk down the beach to the saltwater grill. prices here are what we'd pay back home, maybe more...for india, we've just gone fine-dining. $14 for a mojito, $8 for a smoked samon-herb cream cheese bagel. we eat and drink and watch the diwali fireworks from the beach. it's nice to be served well, and lie back in a nice restaurant.

on the way home we pass hundreds of revellers lighting fireworks along the beach. it's a shame that all the spent firecrackers will probably just be dumped into the sea at the end. children so young i wouldn't trust them with a spoon, run around with matches lighting fireworks and firecrackers. they stand only a few feet away. ash rains down on my head. bang, kaboom, snap...everywhere. toxic smoke in the air. amanda runs screaming. all the way down the beach. i see truck loads of fireworks being unloaded. this could go on for some time.

we finish the night off at leopold's bar. a mumbai institution for foreigners. it's been here since 1871. they serve cheap food, good drinks and you get the kind of service you'd expect back home, from english speaking waiters. ice cold beers, giant pitchers in clear tubes that sit on the table (hard to explain but i'll post a video later). it's fun. we eat, we laugh, we go home to the sewage room and sleep.

next: GOA...

Labels: bombay, india, mumbai, travel

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